Couples Counseling


”The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.” - Robert Dodds

What is Couples Counseling? 

It is easy to look at other couples and find shortcomings within your own relationship. Thoughts like, “why don’t we look that happy,” or “we don’t do that anymore” It is scary to think that you and your partner are not as connected as you once were. There are many phases of being in a relationship and learning to get through the hard times and enjoy the pleasant times is hard, but not impossible. Each couple has its own unique personality and issues. Couples counseling tailors to each couple’s unique strengths and weaknesses to help you and your partner get back to where you want to be.

How does Couples Therapy help? 

Couples Counseling is an approach that works with the whole in addition to the parts of the romantic relationship. You do not need to be married to start couples counseling. In fact, you would be doing your relationship a favor by starting a proactive approach. In couples counseling each individual will explore what their strengths are within the relationship and where they need to improve as a companion. Each person will learn skills and insight that they can apply at home. 


What does Couples Therapy help with?

There are many things that couples counseling can help with, but a few things that are often explored include:

  • Communication

  • Conflict management

  • Connection

  • Commitment fear

  • Jealousy and trust

  • Letting go of the past

  • Infidelity 

  • Sex addiction and other addictions

  • Sex-less and disconnected relationship

  • Parenting and getting on the same page

  • Blame Game

  • Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

  • Identity within the relationship

  • & more

What does Couples Therapy look like?

Couples therapy is not a place for score keeping. In fact, you will learn more about scorekeeping later and how to avoid it. It is also not a place where one person places the sole blame on another. In couples counseling, both partners will be asked to take steps into the other person’s shoes and asked to take accountability for their actions. Each participant will be taught skills and use them while in session. There will be times where the couples meet together with the counselor, and times where each individual meets with the counselor alone. 


In couples counseling confidentiality looks a little different. The therapist will use their clinical judgement to determine what needs to be addressed and how. For instance, if an individual meets with the therapist alone and discloses that they have been cheating, that is not something the therapist can keep “secret”. The therapist will help the partner explore their actions and come up with a game plan on how to tell the other. If there has been known infidelity and both partners know about it, when the therapist meets with each client alone, they will help them process their thoughts and feelings around the cheating without worrying about how the other partner is perceiving them.

What if my partner won’t agree to Couples Counseling? 

Is your partner reluctant to start any type of therapy? You are not alone. It is not uncommon for one partner to be hesitant or not agree to therapy. There are many reasons one person might not want to start therapy. Therapy is a vulnerable and uncomfortable place to be, and some people are not ready to dive into the discomfort that therapy creates. Some people may be in denial about problems in the marriage. It could also challenge their social constructs of masculinity. For some, it might not be a masculine thing to open up and talk about problems. Lastly, for some couples counseling is like a tattle tale going to a teacher. Many are afraid that they might be put in a position to take all of the blame and reinforce that they are not a “good” partner and is doing everything wrong.


If your partner will not agree to go, then going to Individual Therapy is another option. With individual therapy your therapist can teach one person skills to help with communication and conflict management. A person cannot be forced to go to therapy. Sometimes, the more pressure a person feels to do something the more they close up to the idea. Individual therapy is not the recommended path for couples’ issues, but sometimes it is the only viable option, and that may just be enough.

Thinking about divorce?

Many couples enter therapy as a way to check off the box that they have “tried everything,” and nothing works. During the beginning process of therapy will access the buy in each person in the relationship has. Couples counseling cannot be effective if one partner is already out the door. If both partners are wanting to pursue a divorce a counselor can help with processing the logistics, helping keep the peace, and if children are involved how to talk to them about the divorce and co-parenting.


Davidson Family Therapy Is Proud To Offer Individual Therapy in Davidson and Cornelius, NC!

Couples Therapy can be in person or from the comfort of your home. Don’t put your relationship on hold any longer! For more information or to schedule an appointment click here.